


Wish I Didn't Love You

by Lamachine



Series: Tightwire [2]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, deleted scene for Tightwire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4616535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamachine/pseuds/Lamachine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deleted scene from <em>Tightwire</em>. Root takes Hanna dancing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish I Didn't Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by tumblr user samsgroves. "How about a deleted scene from Tightwire? Root takes Hanna out dancing after their dinner at the Laskeys."

The stars in New York could never rival with the ones from Bishop – there were so few of them, and they looked almost dimmed out. Yet this night seemed brighter than any night Sam could remember, no matter how much she searched her memories. With her arm around Hanna’s she walked tall, her heart pounding with pride.

 

It was an odd feeling perhaps, but these were odd times.

 

“Are you sure?” Hanna asked again, her worried voice reminding Sam that they weren’t alone. That the eyes following them into the cabaret could easily be found threatening. They were, however, more curious than anything else. Some of them leered a little too much for her liking, but apart from that, Sam judged they were safe.

 

She sent a reassuring smile towards Hanna. “This’ll be fun,” she promised, her hand gently squeezing Hanna’s wrist.

 

The band was already halfway through Dexter Gordon’s _Mischievous Lady_ when Sam pulled Hanna over to dance floor, not bothering with drinks. The diner’s wine still buzzed warmly in their veins anyway, and Sam had noticed the spark in Hanna’s eyes when she had taken sight of the dancers.

 

Like there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to be one of them.

 

Sam had always been a clumsy kid, and growing up it had been quite painful to get her body to move the way she wanted it to. Only through discipline and exercise had she slowly gotten rid of her awkward movements, but she still wasn’t really a dancer, and had never tried dancing with a partner before.

 

Her bravado faded just as Hanna’s smile widened.

 

“Have you ever danced before?” The tone was playful, but there was no malicious intent behind it.

 

Just like when they had met, Sam felt as if Hanna could never be bored with her – as if anything she did or said was this wonderful discovery Hanna had dreamed of all her life. It was strange, to feel so oddly sought after. _Wanted_ , even.

 

Sam lied, “a little.”

 

Never in public, and certainly not with anyone. It didn’t really count as dancing, did it?

 

“Come here,” Hanna pulled her closer, placing an arm around Sam’s waist. “I’ll lead.”

 

Cheeks reddening slightly, Sam willed her palms to stay dry. Even though the cabaret smelled of cigarette smoke and liquor, it seemed Hanna’s perfume had yet again found its way to her. She took in a deep breath, following Hanna’s lead, her hand uncomfortably resting on her shoulder. Being the taller of the two, Sam wondered absently if she shouldn’t have been the one leading the dance, but no doubt her partner was more experienced than her.

 

“Relax,” Hanna smiled reassuringly much like Sam had done only a few minutes earlier, “trust me Robin.”

 

But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Sam was pretending to be something she wasn’t, and it was her mission _not_ to trust Hanna. And yet she was forgetting all of it, the halls of Arlington far from her mind, now that Hanna’s warm cheek was pressed against hers.

 

The song ended seconds after they had started dancing and Sam blinked, almost confused as Hanna pulled apart to clap her hands, cheering the band. Sam imitated her, cursing herself for her years of strenuous studies – surely somewhere down the road she should have learned how to behave in these instances. She couldn’t stand apart in the crowd, had to blend it – so why wasn’t she?

 

Under Hanna’s eyes, she felt like she was gleaming. Burning up.

 

Like Hanna and her were the only ones who mattered.

 

The band picked up another song, and perhaps because it was a bit slower, Sam managed to stop worrying of stepping on Hanna’s toes. The music’s rhythm soothed her stress as she absently tried to recognise the song. Her heartbeat adjusted to the repeating pattern of the song, her breath becoming shallow as Hanna’s hold around her strengthened

_I wish I didn’t love you so_ , the singer crooned with a deep voice, and Sam felt Hanna shivering against her.

 

Daring, Sam left her hand fall a bit lower on Hanna’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. Hanna pulled apart then, only a little, and yet Sam could already feel her absence. The worry it sparked inside her quickly faded when Hanna’s eyes found Sam’s. Filled with a strange glow, they made Sam feel giddy and drunk, and younger than she was. As if Hanna’s sight was reviving parts of her she had long thought dead.

 

As if Hanna’s gaze could heal.

 

_Why must your kiss torture me as long as this_ , the singer went on, and Sam’s eyes flicked towards Hanna’s lips. Red as rubies and still curled into an enigmatic smile, Sam wasn’t sure why the sight of them seemed to stop time. Why the cabaret was fading away in the background, leaving Hanna, only Hanna, warm and kind and beautiful Hanna.

 

In Sam’s arms, she was still dancing like Sam’s heart wasn’t beating out of her chest.

 

_I wish I didn’t love you so_ , the song repeated, and Sam bit on her inner cheek. Love was something foolish, something so utterly human – it wasn’t for her.

 

Had never been for her.

 

In fact she had never sought for anything remotely close to love and now that she had met Hanna – wonderful Hanna whom she knew nothing about – now that she was holding her close, it seemed like the word itself had changed its meaning.

 

It was confusing, and breathtaking, and as much as Sam wanted it to end she also wanted it to go on. The band played and she found herself moving along with Hanna, following her steps without question.

 

Like it was easy.

 

Like she only had to stop thinking, and all would be well.

 

They danced for hours after that, barely noticeable in the crowd; two silhouettes against the darkness of the cabaret, their voices drowned in the loud music. Between gentle gestures and joyful laughter they shared only a few words here and there; mostly reassurances that Sam was doing fine, that Hanna didn’t need anything else, that they both weren’t tired yet.

 

When they walked home just before dawn, the stars had already disappeared. And yet the near morning’s light had started to brighten the streets, enough that Hanna’s exhausted traits looked like they belonged on a moving picture’s screen. Up there, larger than life, Hanna’s smile in black and white would break just about anyone’s heart, Sam mused.

 

Never once did it occur to her that it might break hers, not even as she fell asleep, the lyrics of that first song still buzzing in her ears.

 

_But when I try, something in my heart says no_

_Oh I wish I didn’t love you so_

 


End file.
